We Are All Different and Imperfect
ICS Daily Devotions
James 1:21-22 (NKJV) Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
Marriage relationships are easily affected or strained by words, attitudes, actions, and behaviour. The devil’s tactic is to divide and conquer, but the more he attempts to divide, the more we need to cling to our spouse through love and forgiveness.
Conflict has been defined as a clash, contention, or sharp disagreement over interests or ideas. Conflict is a fact of life and inevitable in a marriage. The reason why conflict occurs is that we are all imperfect human beings whom God graciously loves. Each of us has our desires, wants, needs, and goals. Whenever any of these differ from those of another, conflict may occur. Also, our beliefs, ideas, attitudes, feelings, and behaviours differ, but the problem is not the differences, rather, our reactions to them.
Different personality types react differently to conflicts. Not everyone is comfortable facing a confrontation, though some thrive in an antagonistic situation. The greatest fear for certain people is criticism and even a small comment will be blown out of proportion. Therefore, one needs to be wise to know how and when to confront somebody. The chances of straining and breaking a relationship are high if the confrontation fails to have a proper closure. Therefore, it’s better not to confront, but pray for the person unless it’s necessary when moral and ethical values are being violated.
Constant confrontation over minor matters will create a toxic environment whether in the office or the home. One should extend grace, let go, and be empathetic and patient. This is why defining roles and responsibilities and communicating expectations are necessary in a marriage to make it easier to manage future conflicts.
In the book Before You Say “I Do” by H. Norman Wright & Wes Roberts, the 5 ways to deal with conflicts are:
Yield – When the issue at hand is not important to you but it is more important to the other party.
Withdraw – Withdrawing should only be a temporary action because it doesn’t resolve the conflict. It will only postpone the resolution to a more appropriate time. It is helpful in allowing both parties to cool down or when the children are around.
Win – Win only when the issue at hand is a moral or a life-and-death issue.
Compromise – This is to help the other person give a little as well. But never compromise on values and principles. This is one step towards resolving an issue.
Resolving – It will require two people to discuss, listen, and arrive at a solution together. The solution could be an enhancement of one party’s initial suggestion. This tends to be the highest value.
Are we able to enjoy a home filled with warmth and love? Absolutely! Jesus promised us an abundant life and it begins the moment we receive Christ.
Sermon Series: Before You Say I Do
