ICS Daily Devotions
The Mirror of the Tongue
James 1:26. If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.
James talks about controlling our tongue and be watchful with what we say because the tongue is a powerful tool though it is the smallest part of our body. It can steer the direction of our lives, especially our marriage relationship if we do not bridle our tongue.
Proverbs 27:15-17 (AMP) A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious (quarrelsome) woman are alike. Whoever attempts to restrain her [criticism] might as well try to stop the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens [and influences] another [through discussion].
The Bible says that a quarrelsome woman or any person who always criticizes is like the dripping of the rain! It goes tock, tock, tock….for a prolonged period of time. It will drive the husband, or the wife respectively, to the corner of the roof. Therefore, this person who is so used to criticizing, constantly nagging, and tearing down is actually destroying another with his or her words. Rather than using the words to destroy the relationship, a wise person is expected to make adjustment to his or her life after looking into the mirror or change when someone speaks to them about the problem! That is implied in the statement that iron sharpens iron!
Proverbs 18:21(NKJV) Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
How do we expect our marriage relationship to be good while we are not controlling our tongue? We will eat of the fruit of what we have sown with our words! Do not be deceived! For instance, it is very challenging to have two highly critical personalities to live under the same roof. They will tear each other down by finding fault with every little thing in each other lives. It is the little foxes that spoil the vine in a marriage. To make the matter worse, we do not live in a society that encourages patience, acceptance and forbearance. But if we allow words that are condescending, demeaning, and destructive in the conversation to continue, then the relationship is definitely heading south. We reap what we sow. If we refuse to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and inadvertedly choose to grieve Him instead, we are deceiving ourselves. It is the Bible, which is the mirror and the prompting of the Holy Spirit, that will attempt to bring us back to the right track for the relationship. But we need to heed to what it says.
Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV) Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
If this verse is to act as a mirror in our lives then we should begin to alter how we speak. How do we impart grace to the hearer? Firstly, adjust the tone, manage the body language and think of ways to say it differently. It will be especially helpful if your spouse or fiancée’s love language is affirmation.
Gal 6:7-8 (NKJV) Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life.
What the Apostle Paul is saying is we will reap what we sow therefore if we sow to the flesh then we will reap corruption. If we sow apple seed then we will reap apple tree. If we sow papaya seed then we will reap papaya tree. God is not mocked. We cannot be sowing discord and expect God to answer our prayer for unity by changing the other person instead of making adjustment to ourselves after looking at the mirror of what the Bible teaches. If we are to sow love, forgiveness, and forbearance, then we will reap love, forbearance and forgiveness.
Sermon series: Active Faith