Strength in the Differences
ICS Daily Devotions
Matthew 7:26-27 (NKJV) “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”
Many people don’t realise that once the wedding day is over, there is a marriage that needs to be worked on constantly. Each marriage partner brings into the relationship years of mental, emotional, and spiritual baggage. We do not just marry the person physically, but also their family background, health, education, experiences in life, and culture. Our baggage causes us to build a stronghold in our minds regarding how to react, defend, or even attack a person because of our preconceived ideas, which sometimes cloud our judgements.
When two unique individuals begin living together, adjustments are necessary. Marriage presents all kinds of opportunities for emotional suitcases to open, revealing the good, bad, and ugly of our lives. These revelations take wisdom, unconditional love, patience, and commitment to work through. Sadly, many couples are taking the easy way out by getting a divorce rather than facing their problems together and working to salvage their relationships. In the process, hearts are broken, children’s emotions are affected because they cannot articulate their struggles and stress, homes are destroyed, and the collateral damage is rippling out into society.
Each person is different. Therefore, believing that we will change our marriage partner quickly after getting married is a fantasy. In general, there are two categories of differences in a marriage. The first category is what cannot be changed, such as age, race, looks, origin, their past and cultural background, while the second category, such as personal habits, character, personality and attitude, can be changed.
It is ironic that the differences that have drawn us to each other initially are what may eventually pull us apart. It is easy to turn a blind eye to certain things during the courting stage, but it is different when you have to live with them for the rest of your life. Once you are tired of the differences, you might be tempted to demand change, pressurise, and manipulate your spouse. However, for a marriage to work, we must adjust, learn to appreciate, and even celebrate the differences. All these will help the marriage grow.
What differences between you and your spouse are you currently accommodating, tolerating, or overlooking to avoid conflict? Paying attention to these differences could prevent you from thinking you have married the wrong person. We need to renew our minds with the Word of God to deal with our baggage and differences through a renewed perspective based on the Word.
Sermon Series：Before You Say I Do
