Growing Together
ICS Daily Devotions
James 1:19–20 (NKJV) So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
For a marriage to be successful, we must have God in the centre of our lives, but we also need good communication with our spouse. Many marriages fail because of breakdown of communication or the lack thereof.
It is important to listen well when someone is communicating with us. According to the book Before You Say “I Do” by H. Norman Wright & Wes Roberts, “when we are truly listening to another person, we are not thinking about what we are going to say when he or she stops talking. We are not busy formulating a response. We are concentrating on what is being said. Listening is also complete acceptance without judgement of what is said or how it is said. Often we fail to hear the message because we don’t like the message or the tone of voice. We react and miss the meaning of what is being said”. “By acceptance, we do not mean agreeing with everything that is being said. Acceptance means understanding that what the other person is saying is something he or she feels. Real listening means that we should be able to repeat both what the other person has said and what we thought he or she was feeling when speaking to us”.
In a covenant marriage, we are “one flesh” with our spouse. Therefore, your spouse is the only soul mate in your life, and you are to share life together. They wouldn’t want to hear from someone else regarding some of the challenges you are facing in life. Therefore, the communication between you should involve sharing thoughts and feelings from the depths of your hearts and detailed sharing of what you are going through. Be a good listener and don’t decide for your spouse whether it is important information or not.
A couple must not be too busy to the point of having no time for face-to-face communication. It is best not to communicate through text messages because people tend to over-read between the lines. Face-to-face meetings allow looking into the eyes, listening to the tone, and observing facial expressions and body language. We will be able to have deeper conversations and clarify without allowing the devil to divide and conquer.
A couple should clearly communicate their expectations in roles and responsibilities to reduce conflict, and when conflicts occur, the decision to walk in the Spirit rather than yield to the flesh is what will help them to grow spiritually together, because as they choose to walk in love rather than in the flesh, they are exercising the spiritual muscle.
Sermon Series: Before You Say I Do
