ICS Daily Devotions
What Makes a Mr or Mrs Right?
2 Corinthians 6:14 (NKJV) Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
Amos 3:3 (NKJV) Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
What characteristics should a single Christian be looking for in a potential partner or spouse? According to Scripture, believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, as different faith values will lead to complications in a marriage. Therefore, the prerequisite is to find another believer—someone who has been born again, has a close relationship with God and in whom you are able to discern Christlikeness. It is not sufficient just to settle for a person who is a nominal Christian or who was born into a Christian family, but neither practises Christian disciplines nor has the fruit of the Holy Spirit. It may take time to discover what a person is truly like.
Believers should also note that if they begin to date non-Christians with the hope of converting them to Christianity, they themselves will most likely end up wavering in their faith. That first step of choosing to be with a non-believer is already an act of disobedience to the Word. There will likely be arguments down the road regarding how to bring up children and whose religion they should adopt. Should their children go to church with one spouse if the other doesn’t go? And what if the unbeliever doesn’t want the believing spouse to attend church or worship God after getting married? The believer’s walk with God may eventually be compromised for the sake of the family.
The traits which we should value most in a potential partner should be: godliness, trustworthiness, emotional maturity, and the potential to be a good soulmate. A good soulmate is someone with whom you are able to share freely without being judged, who is also willing to speak into your life. A relationship with someone who merely has good looks but lacks godly character can be toxic. Besides, looks will change over time.
We should also manage our expectations—there is no perfect person. And there is also no standard answer as to whether we should marry someone of another race or nationality, someone with a different income or social status, or someone with whom we share a significant age gap.
Lastly, we need to take time to pray over a relationship and to hear from God whether this is the right person. Don’t be afraid to tell someone that you may not be a good match for each other. Keep yourself pure and do not commit fornication. If you can ensure that, there is no reason why you shouldn’t get to know and meet with different people.
Sermon Series: Pastor, I Have Questions For You (Devotional 1)