ICS Daily Devotions
Painful Words
James 3:8 (NKJV) But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
Example: A husband said to his wife, “Are you sure you were even pregnant?” The wife was experiencing abdominal pains at the time and the husband’s cold response was so that he didn’t have to deal with the miscarriage as he was too busy and stressed with work. The second time his wife had a miscarriage which was confirmed by a doctor, the wife locked the door for 1 day and refused to let husband comfort or speak to her as a self-protection mechanism.
While there were hurtful words uttered, it was the unspoken words that hurt even more. The unspoken word was that his job was more important than his wife. She is one flesh with him. In the eyes of God, both persons are in a covenant relationship where they have committed to face all the tribulations as a single unit. This is the problem of the present-day society where we have elevated our identities in the corporate world above the values of God. It affects the way we speak and behave because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth will speak. The words and actions by the husband would possibly have resulted in resentment, unforgiveness, bitterness and indifference from the wife towards him. If they are not dealt with properly then they would cause a wedge in the marriage and the devil will make use of this situation.
A prayer of restoration would help the couple to move past the hurt and resentment caused by the hurtful words. Although the wife may have swept the painful words under the carpet, the husband needs to ask the wife for forgiveness for the hurt and grief that he brought to her heart and to acknowledge that it was selfish of him to let her go through such an experience alone. For example in the above situation, the husband could say, “Dear, I am very sorry for the hurtful words that I said when we lost our baby. I am terribly sorry for not being by your side to take time to grieve and comfort you during the time you were suffering alone. Will you forgive me? I will work on journeying together in life with you both in good and in bad times.” And the wife should share the grief and anguish that she experienced during this painful period and respond by forgiving her husband so that there is closure and her wounds can begin to heal. They should pray together. When we release the person who has caused us pain through their words or actions, the past experience should not be brought up again as a means to attack the other person. We have to remind ourselves that we have chosen to forgive as the other person has asked for forgiveness. This would help the one forgiving to heal emotionally.
Proverbs 18:21(NKJV) Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.
The power of the words on our lips cannot be overestimated. We will eat the fruit or reap the results of what we have spoken from our lips!
Sermon Series: Ouch! It Hurts!
