One Flesh in Spirit and Intimacy
ICS Daily Devotions

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (NKJV) Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

The three reasons for sex within marriage are procreation, communication, and pleasure. Therefore, it is good to have a healthy sex life within marriage. However, there are many sexless marriages today.
What the Apostle Paul is advocating in this passage is a healthy sex life within marriage. He is saying that both the husband and wife can initiate sex within the marriage because God has designed us to have a desire for each other within the marriage. The only time to abstain from sex is when we are fasting and praying. Once we have ended the praying and fasting, we should resume sexual activity within the marriage.

Unfortunately, sex within a marriage has been weaponised when there is a conflict between the couple. Sex within a marriage should not be viewed as a reward or something to be earned, but a natural expression of love between the couple. By weaponising sex, the devil has taken advantage of the situation and caused tremendous damage to the relationship. This is why the Bible says we must not allow anger to simmer but to forgive one another before the day ends (Ephesians 4:26). When we feel angry, offended, and bitter towards each other or when our emotions are not in the right place, it is challenging to have sexual intimacy.

While a long-distance courtship is acceptable, a married couple should not live apart for more than a month after marriage. A married couple should live in the same city or country because the priorities are God, then family, and lastly work.

God created for Adam a helper, Eve, because it was not good for Adam to be alone. God’s plan was for them to be one flesh. A married couple is one flesh, not merely in physical union, but in their goals, direction, will, emotions, mind, and spirit. They move through life together as a single entity.

We are to leave our parents and cleave to our spouse when we marry (Genesis 2:24). We marry out of love for each other; we have developed from Phileo love to Agape love, and always climax with Eros love. Sex is meant to be enjoyed within marriage as an expression of love—our love for God and each other.

Reflection: Have you let unresolved anger, offence or bitterness affect the intimacy with your spouse? How is the Holy Spirit prompting you to pursue reconciliation and restore closeness in your marriage?

Sermon Series: As a Man Thinks in His Heart So is He