Living Out Covenantal Love
ICS Daily Devotions
Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV) And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 5:24-25 (NKJV) Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
A marriage can easily become toxic when two highly individualistic people live together, each refusing to give up their rights, privileges, and conditions. The conflict can begin with harsh words and even escalate to physical violence. Christian marriages can also be affected if the couple does not know how to walk in the Spirit and rein in the flesh. God’s will is for us to live in peace and harmony in marriage.
Love, children, sex, and feelings are not the ultimate reasons to stay married. Though they are important, the key reason is covenant commitment—the commitment to uphold the marriage covenant. It is a conscious decision to stay together despite the challenges. It is reflected in the marriage vow spoken at the altar, with God as the witness.
God desires us to be gentle, kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving, as Christ forgave us. We should love our spouses as we love ourselves, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. This is an Agape love that seeks the good of our loved ones. We need to live our lives by yielding to the Lordship of Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit, doing what God’s Word says, because our flesh will resist the Holy Spirit’s prompting and teaching.
We need to recognise that every husband and wife enters marriage carrying years of mental, emotional, and spiritual baggage. When two unique individuals begin living as one, many adjustments are required, because marriage naturally creates opportunities for old ‘emotional suitcases’ to pop open—revealing the good, the bad, and the ugly of our past. At times, certain words or actions may trigger reactions that feel disproportionate, shaped by past experiences. Our unresolved baggage can form strongholds that dictate how we react, defend ourselves, or even attack—based on preconceived ideas that blur our judgement.
Marriage is a covenant in the eyes and mind of God. Because of this covenant, husband and wife are made one—they are one flesh. Together, they face life as partners. Covenant partners do not tear each other down with words or actions, for no one intentionally harms their own body. A covenant foundation is the only secure ground on which a joyful, fulfilling, and enduring marriage can be built.
Reflection: How is the Holy Spirit calling you to live out covenantal love in your daily life—in words and in actions? What intentional steps can you take, whether married or single, to prepare your heart so that your expectations and behaviour reflect God’s design for covenant relationships?
Sermon Series: As a Man Thinks in His Heart So is He
