Foundation of Christian Marriage
ICS Daily Devotions
Ephesians 5:25,28-29 (NKJV) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,…So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
Although the husband is given the position of spiritual head of the house, it comes with responsibilities and expectations.
Malachi 2:13….16 (NKJV) And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.… “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts.“ Therefore take heed to your spirit That you do not deal treacherously.”
In these four verses, God reiterates three times not to deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. In fact, Scripture tells us that their prayers will be hindered or go unanswered if they treat their wives poorly. God is fair—He ensures that much is expected from the husband, whom He has made to be the head of the house, who considers the needs of the spouse and makes sure that she is treated well.
Men treat their wives treacherously when they abandon their marriage commitments, fail to love, protect, or provide for them. Treacherous acts include emotional abandonment, unfaithfulness, neglecting their needs, and breaking promises through habitual lying, financial secrecy, and manipulation. God will reject their worship and offerings and not answer their prayers.
God is asking husbands to guard their hearts, pursue the covenant relationship, avoid verbal or physical abuse, and lead in reconciliation after a disagreement. They are to model Christ’s love towards their wives, pursuing love and reconciliation instead of divorce.
It’s not just about giving money and assets, even though that is important when loving your wives. What matters more is loving them and fulfilling their emotional needs by making them feel loved through your words and actions. There is a clear difference between Phileo and Agape love. Phileo love is selfish and conditional, but Agape love is unconditional love that aims for the highest good of the other person.
In our old man’s thinking, marriage was about the big “I” instead of seeing ourselves as one flesh. We are filled with “me, myself, and I”. Sin is all about self, the gratification of self! It is filled with individualistic ideology. We need to renew our minds to think that we are one flesh. Therefore, we are hurt when the other party is being hurt by us. It is no longer “I” but “we” in the marriage. Christian marriages should be built on the foundation of Agape love—that is, unconditional love.
Sermon Series: Blessed Wives, Blessed Lives
