No More “Yours” or “Mine”
ICS Daily Devotions
Luke 6:48-49 (NKJV) “He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock.But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.”
A marriage combines two individuals from different families, social and economic backgrounds, and cultures. Therefore, every couple will need to make some adjustments and manage their expectations when it comes to spending money. When we are married, we may or may not be able to spend money based on the lifestyle that we had when we were single.
Marriage is a covenant relationship where a couple will journey with each other till death do they part. Covenant partners mutually share all assets, liabilities, and talents. Therefore, a couple will also share the same vision for marriage, including agreement about roles, responsibilities, and expectations. They have died to their old selves, are determined to crucify their flesh, and will resolve differences maturely. They will not hold grudges, take offense, or allow anger to simmer overnight, but strive to love each other with Agape love by extending grace and mercy and choosing to be empathetic. They will ensure that all unseen “umbilical cords” are severed from their parents to be truly one flesh with their spouse.
If a couple views marriage as a covenant instead of a contract, they will also agree to have a joint account and shared assets. Nonetheless, some people think that sharing their financial status openly with their spouse will make them vulnerable and open them up to exploitation, while in fact, laying out each other’s assets and liabilities helps to establish trust between the couple. Marriage relationships must be built on mutual trust, not suspicion, fear of being exploited, and mistrust. Some couples have decided to part ways when one isn’t ready to reveal everything to the other or to have a joint account, but it is better to deal with this before marriage than having money get in the way of the marriage especially when difficulties come.
In a covenant marriage, both parties will choose to stay together in financial troubles, whereas in a contractual marriage, the couple will find it difficult to sacrifice for their spouse during such times, because they will be focused on “what’s mine” vs. “what’s yours”. Those who have chosen to reveal and embrace each other despite their financial status have entered into a marriage covenant to watch over each other, uphold each other in prayer, exercise their faith in God in difficult times, and face them with shared finances.
Sermon Series：Before You Say I Do
