Resolving Conflicts
ICS Daily Devotions
Galatians 5:16-17, 22-25 (NKJV) I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish… But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Conflict is a fact of life, and it is inevitable in a marriage because we are all imperfect and different. The problem is not our differences but rather our reactions to them.
In the opening passage, the Apostle Paul tells us that when we are angry and tempted to lose our temper, there is a choice to be made. He emphasises the importance of walking in the Spirit rather than allowing the flesh to dictate to us. We are so used to our “old man” or old nature, but we must renew our minds to know that we are no longer slaves to sin such as anger, provocation, conceit, and rage. We are “new creations” in Christ since we have been born again. We have the residence of the Holy Spirit in our hearts who can empower us to walk in love and forgiveness by refusing to allow anger to simmer overnight.
A godly couple who is in Christ can reign over the flesh, allowing righteousness and holiness to reign in their lives. Instead of staying in conflict, we can allow the nature of God within us to dominate our lives by choosing to walk in love. Since we have crucified the passion and desire to live independently from God, we can yield to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the one who raised Jesus from the dead. This power enables us to choose to walk in the Spirit and not gratify the desires of the flesh. We can yield to the promptings of the Holy Spirit to be kind instead of rude, longsuffering instead of impatient, to love rather than to hate or be angry, to be gentle rather than harsh, and be self-controlled rather than allowing furious words or actions to get the better of us.
As mature believers, you and your spouse can make time to sit down to talk to resolve the conflict. If you still cannot come to a resolution, you can schedule an appointment with your pastor for counselling, who will ensure that you apply biblical values to resolve the differences and hold you accountable for the steps to restore the relationship. Remember, there will be conflicts in a marriage, but it is how you manage to resolve the conflict that helps you to grow.
Sermon Series: Before You Say I Do
