ICS Daily Devotions
Search Harmony In Decision-Making
1 Timothy 5:14 Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
Whose role will it be to be the main care giver to the baby or the children? In modern time, this is one of the most challenging decisions because of individualism, identity in the corporate world, career advancement, etc. Nobody will willingly lay down their rights to build their career.
An important role of women found in the Scripture is to look after the children and manage the house, even though they may be also good at managing the business or career. Nobody is able to replace the mother. Someone has to teach the children biblical, moral and ethical values at home so that the children will be brought up well. This is especially true during the formative years of their lives while they are teachable to listen to you. We are able to witness in some countries where the walls in the public places, the bus stop, the underpass, the metro are all sprayed with graffiti. Children who are taught well will not go about destroying public properties. These are signs of lack of parental guidance.
It is important to establish between your spouse and you how decisions are to be made.
Eph 5:21 Submitting to one another in the fear of God.
Sometimes there will be unnecessary quarrels because of decisions that are made unilaterally. The husband should listen to the concern of the wife and take time to discuss. We need to even hold back the decision until both of you are comfortable to move forward. This includes taking time to consecrate your lives to God and to walk in His will. You may have discussed about that there is no need to seek your spouse agreement in the amount of money you can spend. However, there are many items, especially big or critical decisions, that need absolute agreement from the heart before a decision is made.
For example, what is the choice of child-rearing practices? Who makes the decision for the kind of school that the children will attend? What is the cost and distance from home? What is the school’s education standard? Who knows better about the school system? Similarly, we may ask questions about investment. It should be a joint decision when it comes to big amount. Someone has the better business acumen but it is the best to have consultation with spouse as it is a joint account. Leave no room for the devil to attack the marriage over money and possessions.
Use the different types of personalities for the common benefit. For instance, the person who is more detailed should have the role to ensure that all the contracts are thoroughly read before signing on the dotted line. The skill of the Christian marriage lies in the negotiation and assignment of these leadership roles on the basis of the abilities of the partners. The role is not gender bias but it is decided based on the mutual agreement during the discussion. In this administrative aspect it works on mutual submission as compared to spiritual leadership. Of course, the husband should take the spiritual leadership, but in the event when he slacks in the role, it is the wife who has to call him back to take it up. Submit to one another in the fear of God and be effective decision-makers!
Sermon Series: Before You Say I Do
